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Q. Is there something about my personality that attracts overbearing women to me who wont leave me alone?
United States
A. When venturing out into the wilds of human civilization, one must be very cautious about their actions! Even the slightest gesture or glance may be an unwitting signal for a female "Clingo Attachamus" to spot you as prey for their parasitic needs. A few key tips can help you avoid this dilemma.
Firstly, avoid eye contact. If eye contact is made, fiercely bear your teeth and mash them together while growling or even squeaking. This deters even the most determined of their kind.
While eating in a public place avoid the use of silverware, instead opting for your hands or feet to grasp food. If it is allowed, do not wear a shirt.
When moving in a street, always run while flailing your arms or holding them high in the air. While this attracts attention, it thoroughly prevents any clinging.
If none of this works, find something to be a complete geek about, collect as much memorabilia as possible, and leave home as little as possible.
United States
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