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Q. Tell me about the first time you ever had sex.
UNKNOWN
A. Virgin. But I can tell you about the time I almost had sex? Yes, I will. When I was eighth grade there was this boy who went to my school named Bryan. Everyone fucking LOVED Bryan. Like every girl wanted on and he was such a horny bastard he pretty much did get on every girl there was. Well he used girls all over the place and he was pretty much just a dick. I was the first one to realize he was an asshole but that didn't stop me from hooking up with him. I'm a horny girl, like overly horny. So he called me and was like "I'm going to come over tonight, okay?" and I was like "Sure," and he asked, "Should I bring a condom?" and I hadn't really thought about it but I was just like "Sure, why not?" I've had criteria for losing my virginity since I first started doing sexual things. First was that I had to be sixteen, and once i was sixteen I could only have sex if I was in a steady relationship with someone whom I loved. At this time I was fourteen and I did not love Bryan and he DEFINITELY did not love me. So he came over and he brought his friend with him and it was like 3 in the morning and my step father was awake upstairs so I had to hide them in my room. So his friend sat in my close while Bryan and I started hooking up. He put the condom on and got on top of me and started to go inside of me when I just said, "I don't actually want to do this." So Bryan got off me, took off the condom and I sucked his cock. Good times when I was fucking fourteen years old, god was I slut.
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